


but sometimes the lines get all blurry

by wordswithdragons



Series: post through the moon [2]
Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Book: Through the Moon (The Dragon Prince), F/M, Gen, a teeny bit of blood and a whole lotta angst, post through the moon with spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:48:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26946202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordswithdragons/pseuds/wordswithdragons
Summary: In perhaps the cruelest stroke of fate, Claudia finds her first. // Post-TTM including spoilers
Relationships: Callum & Claudia (The Dragon Prince), Callum/Rayla (The Dragon Prince), Claudia & Rayla & Callum (The Dragon Prince), Claudia & Rayla (The Dragon Prince)
Series: post through the moon [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1993681
Comments: 11
Kudos: 91





	but sometimes the lines get all blurry

**Author's Note:**

> title from "too sad to cry" by sasha sloan

In perhaps the cruelest stroke of fate, Claudia finds her first.

It happens when Rayla is exhausted, her strength sapped, her morale blotted out like the dark sky above her. It's been six months since the Moon Nexus—since Rayla broke not just one heart, but two—and Xadia has proven fruitless in the answers she needs. There's still magic and food flowing on every branch of the Moonshadow Forest. The Spire cuts a proud line in the sky as she tries to track age old footprints that have gone from faint to non existent. Viren isn't in the Uncharted Forest or Drakewood either, ripe with plants, creatures, and elves alike for dark magic.

It takes three months for Rayla to wander to the ruins of Elarion, feeling as worn out and ruinous as the city itself. She picks her way over the crumbling wall and barely makes camp before she passes out. When she wakes up, she's lying on her side, and heavy chains bind her wrists. The sky is pink and far too soft for the heavy dread settling in Rayla's stomach as morning dawns.

 _Claudia_ standing a few feet away from her isn't the only thing that's warped, her world turning upside down. It's been close to eight months since Rayla saw her last, in the rain with the dragon, and she looks _awful_. Over half her hair is white and her face is as gaunt and thin as Rayla feels. Her clothes are tattered and worn, frayed at the edges. There are old mud stains on her boots and leggings. But Claudia's green eyes are bright and darkened with hate, and Rayla knows the feeling is mutual as she glowers back in turn.

"So this is where you and your father slithered off to," Rayla hisses. It's hard to feel secure when she's slumped sideways on the ground but her anger propels her forwards. It's then that she realizes the silver snakes that adorned Claudia's wrists are gone and must be what's binding her own.

Claudia leers at her, any hint of teenage softness gone. "Yes, after _you_ killed him."

"So dear old dad _is_ alive," Rayla manages. "Is that how you got the new hairdo? Or are you so much of a dark mage you dragged the body here yourself?"

Claudia smacks her then and Rayla barely feels the sting compared to the way her cheek already presses against the cold stone floor. "You're lucky I'm not dissecting you right here, elf."

And it's not like Rayla didn't know what's what dark mages did—what Viren had likely done to Runaan and the rest of her troupe—but the threat and the reality of it in regards to her is enough to make Rayla's stomach lurch. She uses her legs to push herself over onto her side rather than just her back. If she moves fast enough and catches Claudia off guard, maybe she could even sweep the leg. Grab some kind of key or make her reverse the spell somehow? Rayla's mind races, even as she asks, with as much bravado as she can muster, "Why aren't you?"

Claudia steps away so Rayla can't see her face and Rayla only knows the girl is somewhere near her feet before there's a clinking sound and the chains tighten around her wrists. Claudia stands with a foot between her legs as she starts hoisting her up. "Well, for starters, we're leaving Elarion tomorrow," Claudia says, and then more bitterly, "but more than that, it's because you've tricked me twice already, and I'm not going to let it happen again."

She sounds as bitter as Rayla feels. and here's a bite of satisfaction it, though. Rayla focuses on that instead of the pain of being hauled up and made to sit against the wall (restricting her movements further—smart). But Rayla still cost Claudia her first mission and a successful kidnapping of Callum and Ezran, and kept her from taking the Pyrrah, so really, Rayla is going to give this one to herself.

"So, time to see what trick it is this time," Claudia says, moving back to the front and squatting. Her earrings have lost their sheen even before she scowls and Rayla glares back at her. "There's no way you're here alone, so where's Callum?"

It takes everything in Rayla not to _flinch,_ but somehow she manages. Tries to act like he isn't all she's thought about in every miserable, lonely moment, of which there has been many, because she chose this path, didn't she? She has to see it through. Rayla hopes the rapid way her eyes want to burn isn't too obvious either. "Why would he be here?"

"Because he's loyal to a fault to all the wrong people?" Claudia says sardonically. She sweeps the white half of hair out of her face as she scans the area. "Although... there's no illusions here." Rayla doesn't want to know what Claudia has consumed or sacrificed in order for her to be able to tell. "But I can't imagine he's too far."

"He's not here," Rayla says. "I—"

Left him. It's been six months—three times as long as Rayla was with him—and yet guilt still tears at her chest every time she thinks of it. Callum was so trusting, so sweet, and she... ruined him, like she ruins everything. Rayla allows herself a split second to close her eyes and breathe. She also has a habit of killing everything she touches—her six person troupe excluding herself but including Runaan, her parents—and anyone she loves, so maybe it can extend to people she hates, too. Claudia can finally get her comeuppance. They're both damaged goods, but Claudia isn't damaged enough for Rayla's liking.

"Please," Claudia drawls, rolling her eyes. "Like he'd let you come here on your own." Her chin juts out as she almost pouts, though, thinking. "How to make him reveal himself, though..." Then a dangerous spark lights up her eyes and she taps her nose. "Wait, I know." Claudia reaches for the belt and pouch by her waist and flicks out a knife. "He won't let me _hurt_ you."

A fear like Rayla has never known seizes her, worse than when Viren had trapped her in ice. There's something so visceral about a blade and it hits her then that Claudia could do practically anything to her, and Rayla knows how dark mages see elves. Valuable potions parts. Hair and horns, teeth and limbs, even fingers. What will Claudia take? Tears almost build in Rayla's eyes at the thought of losing her horns, even outside of the pain it would cause for a small knife to slowly saw through it—

The blade nicks Rayla's cheek near her mouth in a horizontal line and she tastes blood when her tongue darts out along her bottom lip, but she doesn't cry out—even if a breath rushes out of her when Claudia pulls away with a lock of choppy white hair, leaving only half of it hanging over Rayla's pointed left ear. Scarlet droplets cling to the edge of the knife before Claudia gives it a shake and Rayla's blood leaves a few tiny dark spots on the marble, mossy stones at their feet.

"Huh," Claudia says, glancing around. "Maybe he really isn't here. Weird," she sniffs, stowing her knife away, and Rayla tries not to let her relief show. "There's been rumours he's travelling 'round Xadia. They say he's looking for something."

"What?" Rayla speaks before she can stop herself, panic rising in her throat even as she clamps her mouth shut. Remembers to school her expression into something neutral. Just rumours, not sightings. Maybe Callum was just near the border doing diplomatic work for Ezran and the route is a little erratic. Maybe he was travelling to get his mind off her—find fascinating things in Xadia to draw. Or some sort of primal stone for one of the other sources. There's no reason to think that he's in danger.

But she must not change her expression fast enough because Claudia stares at her, mouth a little agape. Claudia's voice is quiet as she says, "Oh my Gods. You love him."

"What?" Rayla says hotly, fighting down a blush. This is absurd beyond reason, to be having this conversation with _Claudia_ , of all fucking people. "No I don't!"

Claudia straightens up, smug as she crosses her arms across her chest. "Ha! I knew there was something at the Nexus, but he said there wasn't. Looks like he didn't know the dumb little elf caught feelings." Her eyebrows are pointed and Rayla feels leveraged, somehow. Uneven. More vulnerable than when she was chained up.

Rayla twists against her binds. She wants to kick her. "Shut up!"

"Oh, this is so rich—you're a terrible liar, you know." Claudia wipes tears of mirth from her ears as she laughs. "It's written all over your face!"

"And how would you know that?" Rayla snaps, shoulders haunched. "What would _you_ know about _loving_ him?"

Claudia falters, then narrows her eyes. "Dad is going to be so pleased. He's hated you for quite some time, you know." Then she grins grins and there's a desperate sort of edge to it. A sort of manic happiness. Rayla recognizes it from the first time she got a possible lead, even if it amounted into nothing. How it felt to get a win after months and months of _losses_. Rayla eyes Claudia's white hair. How much has she lost? "You'll be really useful."

"And to think," Rayla grinds out, "he helped Soren clean out your room for _this_." Claudia's expression shatters and Rayla knew it would work, because the thought of Callum and _Ezran_ packing up _her_ sparse belongings at the castle has made her break down in tears around her campfire more than once. "And if you ever hurt him again, I'll—"

"What? Kill my father?" Claudia sneers. She would be gloating if her tone wasn't so cold. "Ruin my life? You've already done that."

"But Callum _doesn't_ deserve that," Rayla bursts. Her eyes sting. "He's been through enough—" Even before she left. She knows that all too well.

"Contrary to what you believe, I don't plan on ruining the precious little life Callum's built for himself unless he gets in my way again. Even if it would very easy to use you to do so," Claudia says, and Rayla knows she's cataloguing all the ways an elf could be used for all sorts of nasty spells. "But why would he come here? There's nothing here he wants."

Rayla must shift wrong because another look of comprehension overtakes Claudia's face, worse than the last, and Rayla's breathing tightens. Horror threatens to choke her.

"He's not looking for some _thing_ , is he?" Claudia says. She prods Rayla in the side with a finger, her nails still painted purple-black. "Oh, you're here on your own on purpose, aren't you? Huh. Bet he didn't like that."

"I don't mean anything to him," Rayla says quickly. She hopes it's true. She can't be any more broken than she already is, and if he's moved on, he's safe. If he hates her, he won't be brave and stupid and try to save her. He'll see that she's a lost cause. She always has been. "He doesn't have anything you want."

"Yeah, _duh_ ," Claudia says, rolling her eyes, and indignation flares in Rayla's gut. "But you are. What do you think he could get Ezran to do in order to keep you alive, huh?"

Rayla kicks her legs out and Claudia falls. It's a blow for the sake of a blow because it doesn't get rid of the chains around Rayla's wrists, but the knife clatters out of Claudia's hand as she groans and Rayla aims another kick at her face. She misses, Claudia rearing back, and they both breathe hard, staring at each other. The knife lies halfway between them, the blade angled on a slant. Rayla can see that it's Xadian because its reflection is funny. A sort of split mirror. Maybe used in divination rituals, too?

If this is _her_ end, Rayla intends to deserve it.

"I came here to murder your father," she says. "He's the one who killed my family. But I don't mind adding you to the list."

"You're in no position to make threats," Claudia says, picking herself up. "I won't lose my family again. Especially not to you."

She stoops down to pick up the knife and then pauses, and Rayla sees what's caught in reflection. Each of them, faces almost lined up. Claudia's white hair fills one side, and Rayla's fills the other. Her own hair is longer, a little wavier at the ends. It makes Rayla think of how Callum would draw her now, if he could. In spite of the sharpness of the mirror and the situation, Rayla softens. Gods, she misses him. The tears rising in her eyes makes their shared reflection go all blurry.

Claudia jerks away from the mirror like the sight is ungodly, and then looks up at Rayla for the first time with no hint of disgust, but of _fear_.

"You love him," Claudia says like it's something to be scared of.

Rayla doesn't know how to say that it's the only redeemable thing she thinks she has left. She might not have always loved Callum well—no, she definitely hasn't—but gods, has she loved him.

She raises her head. Rayla _won't_ cry. "Of course I do. He's sweet and he's _Callum_ and he..." Her throat is dry. "He gave Soren old sketches of you for him to hold onto."

Claudia's brow slants, stricken, and then creases, like she's connecting dots. Rayla knows there was a lot of talk in the human kingdoms about a prince courting an elf. Maybe it made its way to Xadia, too. "He loves you," she says, and it hurts the way Claudia says it, like it's still a fact.

Rayla swallows tightly. "He shouldn't."

She watches the dark mage frown, brow furrowed before she shuts her eyes. When Claudia reopens them, her eyes are dark, red around the edges. "What do _I_ know about loving him?" she says sharply and seizes the knife. Rayla braces herself as Claudia strides forwards and hacks off another lock of hair—squirms when Claudia pushes up Rayla's arm gauntlet and makes a thin, shallow incision before taking a phial and collecting some of Rayla's blood.

Rayla is wondering if this will be her life now, of being dragged around and periodically used for parts, when Claudia takes something small and chewy and shoves it into Rayla's mouth. She keeps her hand firmly clamped and when Rayla refuses to chew, Claudia pinches her nose until she has to to try and get some air. It tastes and feels like seaweed, slimy and dense, and Rayla wants to gag for more reasons than one once she chokes it down. It takes only a few seconds for her to realize her legs feel sluggish, and then a downpour of horror at the fact she's been drugged—oh gods, Claudia is going to dissect her here—no, it can't end like this—

"Relax," Claudia says, irritated by her wide eyed panic. "It's just a small sleeping dose." Rayla is about to force her jaw to work, the drug making its way up her arms and torso already, and ask _why_ when Claudia chants, eyes glowing momentarily black before her snake chains slither off Rayla's wrists... and curl neatly around Claudia's as bracelets.

Rayla blinks up at her, confused beyond belief. "W-what?"

"He loves you," Claudia repeats. Her green eyes harden. "So _just this once_ , elf. Go home to him." She pockets the hair and blood she stole, tucking them away in her satchel bag. She leaves the knife, not looking up as she says, "While you still can," and then she's gone, faded against the grey ruins.

When Rayla passes out, she isn't sure if she hallucinated the whole thing, if it was a nightmare or a dream. Maybe a little bit of both.

When she wakes up, hours later under the midday sun, her hands are free and her wrists ache. Talk about a close call. She picks up the knife as she stands up. Her own haggard face stares back at her, the other side filled by the _sky_ , beautiful and bright. The way it's supposed to be. The way she can't let it be.

Rayla's heart aches.

Maybe there will be a tiny iota of regret in killing Viren, after all.


End file.
